Beyond Those Clouds
by EmD23
Summary: It's not until much later that Sayuri realizes what she'd lost. Sayuri/Hiroki. From Makoto Shinkai's "The Place Promised in Our Early Days."


The first month was the hardest, Sayuri though. Her reunion with Hiroki and Takuya was full of tears and hugs and words of comfort. They were so much older than she remembered and she knew there was a gap in her mind, three years that she could not remember. When she asked them what she had forgotten, Hiroki had given her a sad smile and with a grasp of her shoulder told her it did not matter. The past was the past and she had the future to look forward to, a future with Hiroki and Takuya by her side.

Yet she knew that she had forgotten something very important. It seemed Hiroki knew and Takuya had an idea but neither of them brought it up. Yet for that first month she felt Hiroki was walking on eggshells around her. However, his smile and his comforting presence cast her inhibitions aside and she slowly got used to the fact three years of her life were gone.

When Takuya's disciplinary hearing came about, she found out the truth. That the tower her grandfather built had been the key to parallel worlds. That she had fallen into a three year coma since her brain couldn't handle what the tower was sending her, all those parallel worlds. She realized she had forgotten what those other worlds entailed. Finally at peace, she watched with joy as Takuya's boss and Mr. Okabe came to his defense and he was cleared of all charges. The group went out to celebrate and she enjoyed the drunken rambles of Mr. Okabe as he told her about his old life, before the split, before the war.

The war came fast and hard, the destruction of the tower being both a key factor in accelerating it and ending it. Mr. Okabe worked tirelessly towards unification and Hiroki, Takuya and Sayuri supported him. When the treaty was signed 6 months later that allowed for the slow but gradual unification of Japan, Mr. Okabe had never looked more at peace.

And then they went their separate ways. Hiroki and Takuya were studying in different cities and Sayuri moved back with her relatives, trying to re-establish those old bonds. The letters between them were frequent. Through the years she learned that Hiroki couldn't keep a stable relationship to save his life and that Takuya was going steady with a co-worker of his named Maki. The three would meet up once a month in that old abandoned warehouse, where Takuya would sit back and listen as Hiroki and Sayuri played the violin and the three admired the plane they had built, the_ Velaciela_.

Catching up was difficult. She was behind in schooling, fashion, politics, ideas but somehow she managed. She too had her fair share of disappointments and relationships. It wasn't until she found Teshigawara that she felt her life was finally back on track. Years passed and things changed. Takuya became a mainstay in his research facility and got engaged to Maki. Hiroki donned a suit and tie and got himself a fancy government job. She and Teshigawara remained steady over the years.

It wasn't until the day of her engagement party that she realized the truth. The smile that had become fixated on her face since Teshigawara asked for her hand in marriage slowly fell off of her face when she realized that she had not seen Takuya and Hiroki anywhere since they arrived. She excused herself from her conversation with Maki and set off to find her two best friends, worried. It was as she was turning the corner that she heard a voice from the balcony.

"...doing this to yourself," Takuya was saying gently but firmly. It appeared to be a serious conversation.

Sayuri risked a peek and saw that Hiroki was slumped against the balcony's railing, a bottle clutched in one hand. Takuya was standing beside him.

"I know," Hiroki responded to Takuya's statement, "but it's so hard."

"You're living fixated on an idea," Takuya continued. Hiroki let out a mirthless laugh.

"She always used to say she had a premonition of losing something. At the time, I was in middle school and I couldn't understand what she meant," Hiroki said softly.

With a start, Sayuri realized that they were talking about her. Despite knowing eavesdropping was wrong and the voice in her head that said it was best to leave the subject alone, Sayuri remained hidden and continued listening.

"But those words always had a strange effect on me," he continued. "You know the abandoned warehouse? I visit at least once a week. It helps me remember, even though those days are long gone. Our promised place is beyond the clouds."

His voice was choked up and Sayuri listened with bated breath as Takuya made a soft sound in the back of his throat.

"You always called me an idiot, remember? You were always right. I was never like you, Takuya. When she disappeared, you threw yourself into your work and became successful. I picked up the violin and became depressed. You were always stronger."

Takuya let out a soft laugh, though like Hiroki's earlier one, it lacked mirth. Hiroki took a swig from his bottle.

"That day I went to see her in the hospital and your people had moved her, something strange happened. I'd always had dreams about her trapped in that parallel universe all alone, but this time the worlds intersected. We made contact and spoke. I promised her I'd take her to the tower and things would go back to the way they were. It was a promise I couldn't keep. But I felt it. I felt that she loved me just as much as I loved her. I still do."

Wordlessly, Sayuri slid down against the wall, her mind spinning in shock.

"And then you and I chose her over the world and I took her to the tower. I thought she'd wake up and I'd tell her I love her and we'd be okay. But when she woke she told me she had something to say but she couldn't remember what it was. Then she cried. At that moment I realized what her premonition was. She lost her love for me, the memories that created it, those three years where I was everything to her and she was everything to me."

Sayuri felt her breath quickening. It was starting make sense, too much sense. The tears, the sad smiles, the violin, the failed relationships.

"And I told her it was okay. Our promised place was gone as was the past, the love, but we could start a new life. I always felt that she felt something for me, right from the very beginning. It'd work out."

"And now?" Takuya asked.

"Now she's getting married to someone else," Hiroki said bitterly, "and she couldn't be happier. And you know what, I'd sacrifice everything over and over again, lose her again, if it meant I could still see her smile."

"You've had enough," Takuya said softly, taking the bottle and dumping out the contents into the bushes below. "Let's go. She'll be wondering where we are."

Sayuri moved away quickly, rejoining the party before they could realize that she had been listening. That night, Hiroki smiled at her like nothing was wrong and wished her happiness with complete sincerity. That night, tears silently slid down her cheeks and when Teshigawara asked her what was wrong, she said the tears from happiness, though they were anything but. That night, after they made love and he was sleeping, Sayuri's gaze alternated between her ring and the sky outside her window, unable to go to sleep.

The wedding was set a year from the party, for Teshigawara was busy. During that time, Sayuri did not know what she felt. She could not remember those earnest feelings Hiroki claimed she once possessed. At times she felt Takuya was right and Hiroki was living in an idea, a fantasy. Yet there were times when she thought back to that summer building the plane, those days in school were she stared at him as he worked on his desk and she felt a tightness in her chest that she could not explain.

She found herself demanding more and more meetings between the three of them at the abandoned warehouse, a request they were happy to comply with. She observed their interactions and she found her eyes drifting towards Hiroki more and more often. He showed no signs of discomfort, laughing and telling stories about his failures, his successes, his job. Sometimes she doubted if she'd actually witnessed the balcony scene or if it had been a figment of her imagination. Yet there were rare times where she'd catch him staring at her and every now and then his smile was tinted with a deep sadness that made her heart ache.

She could feel herself drifting from Teshigawara. It was terrifying and not at all pleasant. She loved him, of that she was certain, and she was afraid of losing him. Yet Hiroki remained in the back of her mind, a constant doubt, a constant though. It eventually turned into a constant yearning to see him, feel him, hear him. Her meetings with Hiroki grew in quantity, coffee dates and lunch meetings, the occasional movie. If Teshigawara was uncomfortable, he never said it. His work was consuming all of his time and he was rarely home before midnight. A part of her was angry. Couldn't he see that she was drifting? Wouldn't he fight for her? Remind her of what she'd fallen in love with in the first place?

Yet he didn't realize what was happening. Sayuri took matters into her own hands. She decreased time spent with Hiroki, she scheduled double dates with Takuya and Maki and all of their friends and she spent as much time with Teshigawara as his work would allow. She did not know if it was working or not, but she was determined to keep her world upright.

It was 5 months since she'd last seen Hiroki and 3 months until the wedding. She was at a bookstore and picked up a book to read. It was as she sat down, engrossed in her novel, that she heard his voice.

"Sayuri?"

She felt her heart stop. "Hiroki?"

"Hey!" He exclaimed, sitting down next to her. "It's been a while. How are you and Teshigawara?"

"We're fine," she responded quickly, even as she wondered how he could ask that so easily. Hiroki made no reference to her attempt to slowly cut him off from her life, acting as if nothing had changed even though everything had. He was friendly and pleasant and it made her feel all the more guilty.

"Are you happy?" He asked her when they were done conversing.

"I am," she said, even though it sounded hollow. "Are you?"

He studied her carefully and reached out, tucking some of her hair that had fallen to her cheek behind her ear. "I am," he said. Then as he realized what he'd done his eyes widened and he blushed, apologizing profusely. However, his words were ignored. The back of his hand had brushed against her cheek and it awakened a powerful hunger inside of her. Hiroki hastily bid her goodbye and departed.

Her cheek burned all day.

That night when Teshigawara arrived home she wordlessly dragged him upstairs and had him in every possible way, tried desperately to regain that feeling that she used to get from him. When they were done, tired and spent, her hunger had no diminished. It had strengthened. And when Teshigawara whispered promises and sweet nothings into her ears, when he worshipped her body and did everything she had been wanting him to do since the engagement party, she realized with dismay that he was too late.

That night, she called Takuya and told him everything. He listened quietly and when she was done she was crying, stifling her sobs as to not wake up her fiancee.

"What will you do?" Takuya asked when she was done.

"I-" She paused. She knew what she had to do but she was afraid of saying it out loud.

Takuya understood her silence. "Good luck, Sayuri."

The next morning she visited the place where Teshigawara had proposed. She ran her hand over the tree trunk which she had slammed him against in her joy when she accepted and steeled her resolve. She went back to their apartment and opened up her largest briefcase, packing her most important belongings there. Perhaps she'd be able to come back for the rest later. She then waited in the living room, knowing Teshigawara would be home early.

When she heard the door open, she shut her eyes and took a deep breath, opening them to see him staring at her suitcase in shock. "We need to talk," she began softly, sliding the ring off of her finger.

That night, Sayuri explained everything to the man she had once loved. That night, she left him slumped in the kitchen table, broken and staring at the ring she'd left on the tabletop. That night she took two trains to her new destination, arriving outside Hiroki's apartment at midnight. She could hear him playing the violin, that mournful tune she had shown him all of those years ago and she knocked on his door.

No words were said when he opened the door. She walked inside and dropped her suitcase and captured his lips with her own, feeling utterly complete. She was suddenly warm and dizzy, unbelievably happy. When she broke away, he looked at her. "Sayuri-" he began.

"Shhh," she responded, running the hand that had until a few hours ago housed her ring down across his cheek. He felt the absence and his eyes widened before she kissed him again. Soon enough clothes were strewn everywhere and they were fumbling their way towards the bed. He hovered over her, unsure, hesitant, and she cupped his cheek. "I love you."

That was all that he needed, all that needed to be said and soon the two became one. When they were done, she laid against him, feeling safe, whole. "I love you," she repeated.

"I love you too."

She looked him in the eyes and echoed the words he had told her that day when she awoke, the words she heard him say that day at the balcony.

"Our promised place is gone, beyond the clouds. And we begin our lives again."

He smiled, a true, joyful smile, and closed the distance between them.

* * *

><p>AN: Done! I finished Place Promised and was happy with the ending. She'd lost the memories of her love but now had the chance to create new memories with him. Of course, the beginning shows him rather melancholy as he visits the old haunt, but that doesn't necessarily mean a sad ending. It was open to interpretation and this is my take on what happened.

I'm actually expecting no reviews and low hits since this is in the Misc. section and this movie is about 9 years old but if you do read this please leave a review!

Thank you.


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